I had a no good very bad day yesterday. Not because I was depressed but because of normal life and logistical stuff. Accidentally not hitting “set” on my alarm, forgetting long acting insulin and glasses at home, etc.
After feeling like a total failure at life and berating myself, I was trying to stop being mean to myself, using that old “what would you say to a friend who overslept and forgot their glasses…” trick.
It is sometimes hard for people, like me, who are very intellectual and thoughtful, to buy into something that seems simplistic and self-help-ish, like “feel your feelings and let them go.” or “you can stop this.” or “through is the only way out.” You (meaning me) want to counter with some good situations where someone might have to run from their feelings, you want to say “it’s more complicated.” But sometimes it isn’t, it’s annoyingly simple. So I went into the back storage area, cried about feeling like a failure but also kept telling myself that it was okay to feel this way. That it was temporary and it wouldn’t take over and make me kill myself. And it worked. For the most part. I cried I felt bad and then I went back to work.
And I woke up in time today to write about it and get to work without rushing.